Operator: 911
Man: I’m dying.
Operator: How do you know you’re dying?
Man: I have a strange premonition about death.
Operator: Have you taken any medication today?
Man: No.
Operator: And do you have any weapons on you?
Man: No of course not.
Operator: Have you had anything to drink tonight.
Man: No, never would I have a drink.
Operator: Okay well I’m going to send the police over.
Man: That’s nice of you. Finally get their asses out here please.
Operator: Okay sir, yeah I’m going to send the police out but I need to know do you need an ambulance also?
Man: I don’t know.
Operator: You don’t know?
Man: No. The police are coming? When should they be here?
Operator: In a few minutes so I need…sir?
Man: When they get here, may you speak with them?
Operator: I may speak with who?
Man: The police.
Operator: I don’t need to speak to the police sir you do. But I need to know sir…you say that you’re dying?
Man: Yes.
Operator: I need to know if you need an ambulance and if so they’re going to ask…
Man: I don’t know. I may…
Operator: Okay sir…
Man: Yeah.
Operator: Okay, when I call the fire department for them to send an ambulance…
Man: You called the fire department?
Operator: Yeah they’re the ones that send the ambulance out. They’re going to need to know why. So I need to tell them.
Man: Why am I dieing?
Operator: Yeah.
Man: I don’t know…
Operator: Yes that would be nice. Okay are yu in there alone?
Man: Of course. Of course except for my three grandchildren.
Operator: You have three…
Man: And three cants.
Operator: Okay, you’re the only human inside that room is that correct?
Man: Yeah.
Operator: Okay.
Man: …
Operator: Okay where are your grandchildren at?
Man: I don’t know.
Operator: Okay…why did you mention them then?
Man: Oh because the cats are substitute for grandchildren.
Operator: Is that where you live or do you live somewhere else?
Man: What the…ma’am I live at…
Operator: You do?
Man: Yeah.
Operator: Okay. Where do your grandchildren live?
Man: They live here with me.
Operator: They….
Man: Of course, in the bathroom.
Operator: Okay, where are they at right now?
Man: In the bathroom.
Operator: So they are there.
Man: They are here.
Operator: You told me that they werne’t there, only the cats were there.
Man: No the cats are my grandchildren.
Operator: Oh okay. So you don’t actually have any human grandchilcren then.
Man: Oh no. Oh no.
Operator: Okay, are you married?
Man: No.
Operator: No. What’s going on though?
Man: I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m dying.
Operator: But you don’t know why you’re dying?
Man: No, I don’t know what I’ve done.
Operator: Okay.
Man: My heart…heart…may I call you back?
Operator: Why don’t you leave the phone line open?
Man: Of course. I’m leaving the phone line open. I’m coming. Who is it? The police are here.
Operator: Yeah, that’s who you called.
Man: What?
Operator: That’s who you called. Remember?
Man: The police are here.
Operator: Right.
Man: They may not cross the threshold.
Operator: They may not cross…
Man: They may not cross the threshold no.
Operator: Well sir you called. You said you were dying and you needed help.
Man: Yeah.
Operator: That’s why I sent the police.
Man: Oh, look…close the door as you leave. Hello.
Operator: Sir, okay what is it you’d like us to help you with. You called 911.
Man: Yes.
Operator: Okay. You said you were dying. Okay, and so I sent you the police. Is there something else I can help you with?
Man: Yeah, send the police back.
Operator: Why?
Man: Send the paramedics.
Operator: Okay so you don’t want the police then?
Man: Oh I do. I do. I do. I do.
Operator: Well why don’t you step outside and talk to them.
Man: Oh I will.
Operator: 911
Man: I’m dying.
Operator: How do you know you’re dying?
Man: I have a strange premonition about death.
Operator: Have you taken any medication today?
Man: No.
Operator: And do you have any weapons on you?
Man: No of course not.
Operator: Have you had anything to drink tonight.
Man: No, never would I have a drink.
Operator: Okay well I’m going to send the police over.
Man: That’s nice of you. Finally get their asses out here please.
Operator: Okay sir, yeah I’m going to send the police out but I need to know do you need an ambulance also?
Man: I don’t know.
Operator: You don’t know?
Man: No. The plice are coming? When should they be here?
Operator: In a few minutes so I need…sir?
Man: When they get here, may you speak with them?
Operator: I may speak with you?
Man: The police.
Operator: I don’t need to speak to the police sir you do. But I need to know sir…you say that you’re dying?
Man: Yes.
Operator: I need to know if you need an ambulance and if so they’re going to ask…
Man: I don’t know. I may…
Operator: Okay sir…
Man: Yeah.
Operator: Okay, when I call the fire department for them to send an ambulance…
Man: You called the fire department?
Operator: Yeah they’re the ones that send the ambulance out. They’re going to need to know why. So I need to tell them.
Man: Why am I dieing?
Operator: Yeah.
Man: I don’t know…
Operator: Yes that would be nice. Okay are yu in there alone?
Man: Of course. Of course except for my three grandchildren.
Operator: You have three…
Man: And three cants.
Operator: Okay, you’re the only human inside that room is that correct?
Man: Yeah.
Operator: Okay.
Man: …
Operator: Okay where are your grandchildren at?
Man: I don’t know.
Operator: Okay…why did you mention them then?
Man: Oh because the cats are substitute for grandchildren.
Operator: Is that where you live or do you live somewhere else?
Man: What the…ma’am I live at…
Operator: You do?
Man: Yeah.
Operator: Okay. Where do your grandchildren live?
Man: They live here with me.
Operator: They….
Man: Of course, in the bathroom.
Operator: Okay, where are they at right now?
Man: In the bathroom.
Operator: So they are there.
Man: They are here.
Operator: You told me that they werne’t there, only the cats were there.
Man: No the cats are my grandchildren.
Operator: Oh okay. So you don’t actually have any human grandchilcren then.
Man: Oh no. Oh no.
Operator: Okay, are you married?
Man: No.
Operator: No. What’s going on though?
Man: I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m dying.
Operator: But you don’t know why you’re dying?
Man: No, I don’t know what I’ve done.
Operator: Okay.
Man: My heart…heart…may I call you back?
Operator: Why don’t you leave the phone line open?
Man: Of course. I’m leaving the phone line open. I’m coming. Who is it? The police are here.
Operator: Yeah, that’s who you called.
Man: What?
Operator: That’s who you called. Remember?
Man: The police are here.
Operator: Right.
Man: They may not cross the threshold.
Operator: They may not cross…
Man: They may not cross the threshold no.
Operator: Well sir you called. You said you were dying and you needed help.
Man: Yeah.
Operator: That’s why I sent the police.
Man: Oh, look…close the door as you leave. Hello.
Operator: Sir, okay what is it you’d like us to help you with. You called 911.
Man: Yes.
Operator: Okay. You said you were dying. Okay, and so I sent you the police. Is there something else I can help you with?
Man: Yeah, send the police back.
Operator: Why?
Man: Send the paramedics.
Operator: Okay so you don’t want the police then?
Man: Oh I do. I do. I do. I do.
Operator: Well why don’t you step outside and talk to them.
Man: Oh I will.
« Less
