Adam Carolla: Oh wait, I just came up with a good movie idea - Gay Eyes.
Bryan: Gay Eyes.
Adam: I'm going to star… no Bryan Cranston you star, … no you direct. You...
More »Adam Carolla: Oh wait, I just came up with a good movie idea - Gay Eyes.
Bryan: Gay Eyes.
Adam: I'm going to star… no Bryan Cranston you star, … no you direct. You direct me.
Bryan: Alright, I'll direct you.
Adam: Ok. Not this second.
Bryan: Not this second, but I just have to check my frame.
Adam: I play Buddy McLan. A horrible racist, and a homophobe and everything else. And I'm a transition mechanic And I'm blinded when I'm draining hot tranny fluid out of an RV. Ssssss Ahh! And we have to do an eye transfer.
Bryan: An eye transplant
Adam: An eye transplant. And I get the eyes of a gay guy who just bought it in a moped accident in Antiqua.
Bryan: We fly in the eyes, and you can see the eyes and they still blink.
Adam: Right, and just like any movie when you have to get a transplant, if you get the heart of a serial killer well then of course Alyssa Milano becomes a serial killer.
Bryan: That's true.
Adam: That's a medical fact.
Bryan: That's a medical fact.
Adam: Now where were we.
Bryan: It's a medical fact that when you get an organ transplant you assume personality and the characteristics of the person you got that donation from.
Adam: I've seen enough movies where that's what happens.
Bryan: That's what happens.
Adam: So now I'm Buddy McLan, a horrible racist, a homophobe and very close minded, and I don't know it's from a gay guy who bought it on a moped on an island.
Bryan: All of a sudden you start having these urges.
Adam: It's a weird thing… and now comedy ensues.
Bryan: Oh, hijinks.
Adam: Because my best friend, Larry the Cable guy comes over and I'm like 'are those new jeans' and he's like 'Git-r-dun!'
Bryan: Get me dun!
Adam: And I see his ass crack when he bends down to take care of the tackle box and I'm like 'somebody's been working out.' and he says, 'what are you talking about?' And I start to see life through the gay eyes, and I start decorating his trailer and I'm doing all the horrible stereotypical things a gay guy would do. It's kind of like when 'Chuck met Larry' where we tried to pass it off as an homage, but really every third joke is just a homo joke. It's good stuff… now what happens to the woman I'm in love with?
Bryan: That's interesting…
Adam: now wait a minute, maybe her vagina gets transplanted?
Bryan: YES!
Adam: For a guy's ass?
Bryan: What happens is she is attracted to the softness…
Adam: She likes the new me.
Bryan: … the new you! You're like metro man … but you have to keep this secret from her.
Adam: There's a very pivotal scene where she sees me taking down the Dixie flag which I have up like a curtain.
Bryan: That's right!
Adam: … and she says 'you fought tooth and nail to swing that' and I say 'you know what, honey? It clashes with the sofa'
Bryan: (Scooby sound)
Adam: Right, she does that Scooby sound. I'm going to make a smart cocktail, you want one? And she says 'huh?'. The next day she finds me decorating and she says 'aren't you supposed to be at the transmission shop?' and I say 'I called in and took a me day. Now you want to go down to the mall and go candle shopping?' And she says, 'who is this guy?' But she likes it.. She likes it.
Bryan: Yeah, she likes it.
Adam: Except when I enter the bedroom, when I can't perform. Ahh… that's the conflict.
Bryan: Ahh… that's the conflict. It pushes the story forward. Wow, brilliant. It practically writes itself.
Adam: Eyes of a gay guy. 'The eyes have it…. Gay Eyes!'
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